Today is my 30th birthday and I’m on cloud 9. I’ve talked to a few friends who are turning 30 this year and got mixed reviews–some weren’t phased by it while some dreaded it. I’m excited af. Besides spending today ushering in this new decade and expressing gratitude for my time here, I thought it would be fun to reflect a bit and share what 30 years have taught me. I’ve also taken a look back at the last 5 birthdays and sharing how I celebrated each one.
- I don’t know everything, and I’m okay with that.
I remember being 16 thinking I was grown and knew everything. Guess what Sway, you ain’t got all the answers. My 20s taught me that there’s A LOT I don’t know. But there’s beauty in uncertainty and more to learn through the journey than the arrival.
- Sleep is underrated.
There isn’t much to say here. Get your rest and watch how it transforms your wellbeing.
- Take life a day at a time.
From work to marriage and to my goals, I’ve gotten better about overthinking, over-planning and overdoing it. While I thought planning helped my sanity, sometimes it made things worse because it created more thoughts, deadlines and stress that wasn’t serving me.
- Energy is everything.
I believe in energy and vibes so I prioritize my peace and protect it at all costs, keeping myself away from energy that threatens it. I’m also attentive to the energy I project and the energy that flows within me.
- There’s no such thing as perfect.
Strive for excellence over perfection because the latter doesn’t exist.
- It’s okay to say no to things and people that consistently add to your to-do list.
A few weeks ago, I sat down and wrote out everything that’s on my plate at work, at home and beyond. I immediately noticed that people and things were adding to my to-do list, taking up mental real estate and, ultimately, adding to my stress. “Can you look at this and tell me what you think?” Don’t be afraid to say no and know that it’s always okay to make people wait until you’re in the right space, mentally, to respond or to help out.
- Time without your phone is healthy.
Every day after work, I turn off my cell phone when I get home and leave it off for one hour. That 60 minutes of pure silence is a game changer.
- People aren’t linear.
I said this in a previous blog post about my marriage but it’s true across the board. You can’t love and support someone the same way you always have because people change and so do their needs. The key is loving them through their evolution and doing it in a way that makes them feel loved, not in the way you think they should be loved. Have a friend going through a tough time? Ask questions like, “How can I support you through this?” Have a sibling venting to you about their shitty day? Ask them, “Do you want me to respond with advice or do you just want to vent?”
- Sometimes, people’s issues with you aren’t about you.
Have you ever had someone dislike you for no reason? I promise you, it’s not about you. Be cordial but most importantly, keep it moving. Their insecurities and internal struggles are not your problem. There’s a professional for that.
- Laser hair removal is a gift from God.
Lord, I thank you.
- 30 is dope af.
Everything I’ve experienced, witnessed, heard, lost, won and felt has led me to this moment. I look back and laugh sometimes at how I tried to rush my teenage years because I thought adulthood was where it’s at. Then, I spent my 20s overthinking, networking my ass off, reading anything I could set my eyes on and questioning who I was. Now? I’ve never been so sure about who I am and what I represent. I’ve never been more in shape or in tune with my intuition. And I’ve never extended myself as much grace as I do now. I don’t have it all figured out, and I probably never will. But there’s no doubt in my mind that I am where I’m supposed to be with the most amazing husband, family and friends an ambitious, fearless and unbreakable 30-year old black woman from Philly–who’s straight up killin it despite a disability–can ask for.
I appreciate y’all for rocking with me. Here’s to chapter 30.